When is a mistake not a mistake?
by OnceUponAStoryNeverTold
Summary: It only takes one moment, one moment when everything stops around you and you can finally see clearly. but what that moment brings might be the problem. SwanQueen story.
1. Chapter 1

**_SQ._**

 ** _Chapter 1._**

 ** _Set season 4 Marian is frozen, Emma and Regina are friends again._**

* * *

 _'Villains don't get happy endings'_ at least that's the thought that plagued Regina's mind all night, sat alone in her vault with only the quiet as company. She's so far into her own thoughts, that she doesn't even notice that someone has entered.

"Regina, please we need to talk". She doesn't move, doesn't react to his voice, other than the almost mildly audible sigh that escapes her lips.

"Robin". Its just one word, yet they both know just how much weight that one word holds.

"I know you asked me to stay away, but I can't. I'm sorry, I just… can't"

"What do you want from me Robin"? She sounds so exhausted, nothing like her usual put together self, you could even go as far to say, she sounded defeated.

"I want you to hear me. Because I heard you. I know where you stand, I know you're pushing me away to give Roland his chance at having a whole family with me and Marian, and I love Marian. I do, but I also let go of her a long time ago. And besides, I love you too".

"No you don't". It's almost a whisper but he heard her anyway.

He moves closer towards her, yet despite wanting to, she doesn't move an inch.

"You love the idea of me, of being with your fated soul mate. You just happen to believe that's me, but if you never knew about the pixie dust, you would already be over this fantasy". There's no malice in her voice, just simple truth.

"No. You don't get to tell me how I feel. Pixie dust or not, Marian or not, I would still choose you".

She laughs, but there's nothing comical in her laugh, its almost eerie.

"Okay. You're so sure. Then, we will wake Marian, and when we do, when she's an actual possibility for you. Then come tell me what your choice is. But until that time I'm going to make this easier on you, and take myself away as an option too".

He's ready to argue again, his next statement ready to form on his lips. But gently she silences him with a soft hand to his cheek, looking into his eyes so he hears her. Really hears her. "Until Marian wakes". Before all Regina leaves behind is a mist of purple smoke.

* * *

Hours have passed since Regina left Robin stood alone. Since that point, she's cleaned the house, **twice**. Cooked dinner, sent henry to Emma's, soaked in the tub until the water turned cold, and now she's sat in the study with her second glass of merlot, staring aimlessly into the fire. That is until a persistent knocking starts at her front door.

She swings the door open a little too wildly, not even bothering to check who was waiting not so patiently on the other side.

Emma startles as the door flings open, almost smashing into the foyer wall.

"Emma".

"Hi". It's almost comical really, so similar to their first meeting. Emma's simple greeting with an unsure smile.

"Henry came home tonight a little worried about you, said you didn't really seem your self. Now normally I wouldn't sweat it but, I've learnt the kid is rarely wrong about anything. And then with everything that's happened lately with Marian, I Just thought…" She lets that sentence sit in the air whilst she holds up a fairly expensive looking bottle of whiskey, childishly shrugging her shoulders.

"Well then" Regina doesn't add any more to that just moves aside to let the blonde enter.

Regina soon follows after Emma not bothering to be annoyed that the blonde just led her way to the study grabbing two glasses as she made her self comfortable on the couch like she lived there.

It doesn't go unnoticed by Emma that Regina hasn't said a word the whole way to the study, where normally she would have some form of snarky comment about Emma's lack of household manners. Yet she just flops into the chair, probably the most common thing she's ever seen Regina do.

When Regina finally does glance up Emma has to force an awkward smile to her face, trying to make this moment which is actually usually pretty familiar to them, now somehow uncomfortable, a little less uncomfortable.

"Here". Emma fills the glass maybe a little too full but screw it, its clear that tonight neither of them care that much.

"Thanks" _Well at least that's something out of Regina_ she thinks to herself.

After quite a few more uncomfortable moments of silence, Emma decides to just dive in.

"Wanna talk about it"?

"Not much to talk about really"

"Okay. So then what happened tonight? I mean if its nothing then shouldn't really be a problem sharing right?"

Emma is aware she prying but honestly she decides she has every right to because well, she lo… cares about Regina. Probably a lot more than she clearly cares to admit.

Regina lets out a harsh breath, almost like she's psyching herself up for this conversation.

"Robin came to see me today, to tell me that Marians situation changes nothing, that he loves me, and chooses me"

Emma flinches at that statement, not entirely sure why what Robin said means anything to her. Yet she doesn't fail to notice that in fact it does affect her quite a lot. To the point that she's sat there praying the next thing Regina says is she turned him down, and maybe she should look a little deeper into her feeling, but now is hardly the time, she has to be a friend to Regina right now, so that's exactly what she's going to be.

"I said that I wont be with him right now, but when Marian wakes, then he can make his choice" Emma releases a breath she hopes wasn't as loud as she felt it was.

"Oh" That's the only response she can think of right now.

Regina starts laughing but this time an actual laugh, one that Emma hasn't heard in a while, a full throaty laugh.

"What's so funny over there chuckles"?

"Well, I tell you all that and your only response is 'Oh'. It's always a fulfilling conversation with you Swan" she manages to get out with the remnants of her dying laughter.

"Well I'm glad you find me fulfilling" There's a smirk on her lips whilst she says that. You could say she was actually being flirty, maybe a little too flirtatious considering the circumstances. But there's that light back in Regina's eye, like there is when they start this sassy repertoire. Like light flirtatious banter.

And god Emma's missed this. The smile on her face very evident of that.

After Regina feels uncomfortable enough under Emma's gaze she finally breaks "What?"

"Nothing, I've just missed this" And she doesn't need to expand on it as she knows Regina knows exactly what she means, truth be told she's missed it too.

After quite a few more drinks and quite a few more light-hearted jabs at one and other, they finally decide to make the night a little more interesting, with drunken magic lessons. Which in hindsight not a well thought out idea.

"Okay, so appearing items before you is, well you think of what you want, picture it clearly in your mind and…"

Before she got a chance to finish that sentence she noticed she was missing something, her necklace, the closest thing to her favourite personal item, something she loves with her whole heart. Regina intended to congratulate Emma, even if she found the blondes wanting a little peculiar, but before she got the chance, she saw that look on Emma's face. The look that you can't ignore, one that shows you very clearly just put a piece of yourself out on the open but regret it.

"Emma?"

"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that" Regina would have just said something snarky in that moment normally about then what was she trying to achieve, but before she gets a chance to ask that question, Emma looks up. Her eyes boring into Regina's. And suddenly Regina doesn't need to ask Emma why. She knows why.

Regina loved that necklace so much. Emma wanted that. Not the necklace, but the Love Regina has to offer.

Regina freezes, I mean what was she meant to do, she had no idea Emma had feelings for her. She just sits there staring right back into Emma's eyes. Not sure how long they were sat there, but their fun game suddenly got very serious.

Honestly it's impossible to say who moved first, and there was no time to figure it out, the moment their lips touched, nothing else mattered.

It was sweet, delicate, almost unsure, until it wasn't. The kiss picked up momentum, things started to get a lot more heated than either of them had anticipated. Regina can't remember how this happened exactly but here she is begging for entrance from Emma, which is quickly granted.

Clothes are thrown all over the room, no real intended target for them, they just needed to be out the way.

Regina now laying on her back the only items on her body are her underwear. Emma is laid over her, in a way that's possessive but in the best kind of way. The kind of way when you never want to get up, just lay there forever, feeling this safe and content.

Until a new kind of thought comes over Regina, When Emma starts leaving trails of hot kisses down her abdomen, to her inner thigh, back up to her neck, before she's kissing her again whilst her hands start exploring Regina's body.

Her thoughts becoming less frequent, the more Emma touches her, to be fair its pretty hard to concentrate right now.

"Emma" that all that's said really between them, a silent understanding, they just need this.

Emma responds the only way she knows how, she removes the last remaining undergarments from Regina, starting kissing, licking, trying to show Regina just how much she needs her and wants her, without using her words. She's never really been that good with words. Neither is Regina evidently as the only words she manages to get out are incoherent moans of Emma's name. "Emma!" She can feel she's close, she can feel Regina tightening around her fingers whilst her body squirms underneath her, so she keeps going but this time, less desperate, she wants to see Regina come undone, she wants to feel her body relax under her. So tenderly she starts trailing kisses again which Regina would object to Emma's mouth no longer on her clitoris but her mouth is now on her breasts and she's so close, her eyes open just in time, in that moment when her body falls apart, pure bliss. She hasn't felt this in so long, she can't even remember the last time she did feel this. When she looks up she finds Emma's eyes once again boring into her own and before she even realises what she's doing, she reversed their positions. But unlike Emma she isn't taking her time, she needs her, needs to taste her, now.

It doesn't take long before they're completely spent, with Regina collapsed on top of Emma, in a blissful state of exhaustion.

Screw the consequences that's tomorrows problem.

 _And unknown to Emma it really would be._

* * *

 ** _Please leave comments, this is my first swanqueen fic, so i appreciate the feedback. Thanks for reading :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Emma wakes with an unmistakable smile on her face, she lays there for a second her eyes still closed, she just wants to revel in this moment. Everything she has thought about for months has finally happened. And okay maybe it's not how she pictured things going. If she's being honest with herself she kind of hoped their first time wouldn't have involved alcohol, and not because for her that added to her impulse but simply because of her biggest fear. The fear that's keeping her lying on the floor with her eyes still closed so Regina won't know she's awake. The regret. Not on her part, there isn't a chance in this world or any other Emma could regret what happened between them, but she has the feeling Regina will, and honestly it scares the shit out of her.

Finally daring to be brave, she opens her eyes. And just like that it crashes down on her, she wishes she never opened them, so she wasn't met with the reality she currently is. Nothing.

She looks around and she's alone. She's always alone.

The spot beside her where Regina had been now stone cold. So she clearly left quite some time ago.

Emma sits there a little longer, willing her self to be composed, keeping that small part of hope that says maybe Regina is in the kitchen making breakfast. So instead she pulls herself together, she puts aside the sickening feeling in her stomach weighing her down, and instead plays scavenger hunt with her clothes, until she's fully dressed and semi approachable, ready for whatever she's about to face.

It doesn't take long, to scan the whole house and figure out what Emma already knew to be true the moment she opened her eyes. Regina wasn't here.

She left.

When Emma finally walks through the loft that morning no one is there, which doesn't really help her abandonment issues she's currently going through, but at the same time she's also glad as she really couldn't face walking through the door very clearly looking like she had in fact been crying, to then receive the first degree from her parents and Henry. She needed to gather herself together. So the best place is to wash it all away, wash away the mess and the horrendous nerves, is in a steaming shower, not that you could say she was really cleaning herself more like just standing under the water, feeling it run down her body, and masking her tears.

When Emma finally pulls herself out from under the hot water she sees her phone lit up. She tries not to get her hopes up, she really does. But she just can't help hoping that its from Regina, and for the second time that morning she's left with disappointment. It's a text from her mother instead saying they're all grabbing breakfast from Granny's and to come join them.

Not that she really wants to, but if she doesn't it will raise questions, after all when does Emma Swan ever turn down food, especially from Granny's. So she pulls on some fresh clothes to at least give the illusion that she's okay, sends a text to Regina against her better judgment asking if she's okay, and where she went this morning and leaves the apartment.

When Emma finally arrives at Granny's it's like the air got knocked out of her. There sat at the table with Henry and her parents is Regina. She doesn't even seem fazed, she's laughing at some goofy thing Henry said.

Realising she's been stood there a little too long when everyone starts looking in her direction, she makes a move in their direction and her mother gets up from the booth to ask her if she's feeling okay.

"Yeah, sorry I'm fine" she plants on the fakest smile she's ever had to do, to the point that she cringes as she can feel how false it looks.

Once sat at the table, she's so confused, everything is completely normal, in fact more normal than its probably ever been.

"Emma!"

"Hmm?"

"I said what would you like to eat?" Snow's starting to look a little concerned.

"Um, actually I'm not hungry" That seems to grab everyone's attention, well everyone except Regina of course who hasn't once even looked in Emma's direction.

"Sweetie are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yeah Ma you don't look so good"

"You know what you're right, I'm not feeling too good, I think I'm just gonna head home, and get some sleep"

"Of course kiddo, I'll take the morning shift at the station kay?"

"Thanks Dad, I'll see you all later" she doesn't really direct that at anyone as right now she really doesn't want to see anyone later, so she makes her quick escape out Granny's not paying attention to anything around her. The only thing noticeable right now is her heart beating at an extreme rate in her chest. It's deafening.

Somehow Emma makes it back to the apartment, not sure of the route she took home, or even how long it took her. The main thing was she was safe, she was here and they were there and she could breathe.

In one last attempt she tries calling Regina, to which no surprise Regina doesn't answer.

That seems to be the last straw, finally Emma lets go of all the resolve she has left and breaks down, her legs buckle underneath her as she slides down her bedroom wall holding onto her self with dear life as she tries to regain her breath. The sobs that she can hear leave her mouth don't even sound like hers. The tears keep going until finally she passes out on her bed, hoping when she wakes it will be better than the first time she woke that day.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

When Emma woke up for the second time that day, she could hear her parent's downstairs, with Neal, but she couldn't hear Henry, maybe he went back to Regina's.

She decides to stop guessing what's waiting for her and just go down stairs and deal with whatever awaits her.

"Hey sleepy head, we were starting to get worried" She can tell her dad is trying to lighten the mood, as she's sure they can all see her red rimmed eyes and know she cried herself to sleep. Yet even though she knows they're worried she can't even fake a smile right now, so she knows she has no chance of reassuring them that she's okay as honestly, she really is not okay.

"Where's Henry?"

"He decided to spend the day with Regina, let you get some sleep"

All she can manage is a nod, the only action to show she understands what they're saying to her.

"Sweetie, you sure you're okay?" she's aware they all know that's a futile question as she very clearly isn't okay, yet she knows her mother is just trying to get it out of her. Because that's what they do, they try their best to help and to fix everything but they can't fix this one, hell if they knew what was wrong with her would they even want to help, or would they want nothing to do with her?

She's brought out of her thoughts when David's phone beeps. It's Henry saying he's at Regina's, and that he needs picking up as its raining and he would ask Regina to bring him back but Robins there and he feels he really shouldn't be.

Despite that when her father reads that message out all she wants to do is throw up, she manages to somehow keep herself put together enough.

"I'll get him" that seems to surprise both of her parents.

"Emma you sure sweetie as your father can go get Henry, it really isn't a problem"

"I can get my own kid" and with that she makes a rather hasty exit out the apartment, left with the agonising thought of that she hopes Henry comes out to the car so she doesn't have to go in the house, she really couldn't handle that right now.

But once again, today is a never ending shit storm on her life. Henry doesn't come out, leaving Emma stood knocking at 108 Mifflin once again. This time however Regina doesn't answer the door thankfully. Well she would be thankful except its Robin stood in front of her instead.

"Hey Emma, come in Henry's just grabbing his backpack"

How is it that Robin Hood is inviting her in like he lives there. Then again what does she know, seeing how todays been going, he probably has moved in.

"Right, thanks" God was that her voice that said that? Her voice sounds so hoarse.

"Hey Ma!"

"Hey Kid, you ready?"

"Yeah, sorry I didn't call you to come get me I didn't want to wake you"

"Its kay" she tries to reassure him with a small smile but he's her kid, well hers and Regina's so of course he cans see right through it.

"Emma" and god if that one word didn't cut right through her.

"Hi" it isn't accompanied by a smile, actually she doesn't even manage to look Regina in the face, but then again Regina never expected she would.

"You ready kid?" she completely cuts right past Regina and everyone notices it, they can also clearly see how uncomfortable she is right now in this house, so Henry decides to save her from quite possibly the most uncomfortable he has ever seen Emma act.

"Yeah sure, bye mom"

"Bye sweetheart, I will see you for lunch tomorrow"

Regina watches as Emma speeds off to the car not even bothering to say goodbye, but then again she really couldn't blame her.

The silence is a little too much for Henry to bare in the car on the journey home, so being the innocent boy he is, he tries to uplift the moment with good news, at least he thought it would be good news.

"They woke up Marian today, Belle found a spell and mom did it. She's awake, and Roland is really happy"

"that's great kid, really"

"She's actually pretty cool, she came over to the house and her and mom talked, she said she wont get in the way of mom and Robin, as she would never stand in the way of true love, she said that mom deserves her happy ending, and thanked her for saving her"

That's pretty much all it took to completely destroy anything Emma had left inside her. Luckily they had pulled up to the apartment by the point that Emma slammed on her breaks, and completely fell to pieces in front on her son. The one thing she prayed she would never do.

And in the moment Henry wasn't a boy anymore, he completely understood now why, and why what he had just said was possibly the worst thing he could have ever said to his mom, in that moment he just acted, he pulled his mom to him, not caring that she would hate how weak she looked, because he never looked at her like she was weak and nothing will ever change that. He just held her whilst she fell apart in his arms, he wasn't quite sure how he had been so blind when he claims to see everything, he never saw this. Now he had to do everything he possibly could to be there for his mom, no matter what it meant for either of them.


End file.
